wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
