I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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