She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
