I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
