I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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