i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
