69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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