dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
