I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
