i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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