I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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