what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize