What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize