I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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