Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
