did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
