hotel room ftw
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
