the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
