I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
