i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
