Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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