In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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