Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals

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(417): View more from Missouri

No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"

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(207): View more from Maine

I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?

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(812): View more from Indiana

Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.

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(512): View more from Texas

I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.

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(425): View more from Washington

I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.

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