Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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