I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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