i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
