Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
