try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
