i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
FUCK WHALES
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize