it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
