OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Randomize