Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My liver just had a heart attack.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
