Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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