i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
