may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize