I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
