I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
