She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
