I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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