You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
