U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize