there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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