Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
