So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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