i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
