Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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