you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
