I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
