I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize