Can Purell be used as lube?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
