Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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