How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
