About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
