i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
