your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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