69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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