He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
