Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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