My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
