Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
